


Warrior Of The Sumo

by narwhalpuppy



Category: The Ren & Stimpy Show
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 04:33:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12203964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narwhalpuppy/pseuds/narwhalpuppy
Summary: A baby Stimpy is found floating around the ocean until he reaches Japan. When Baby Stimpy comes to Japan he is taken in by, Zen Ren who raises and trains him to be at first a Samarai then later, a sumo wrestler. Stimpy must fulfill a destiny to be the best sumo wrestler in all of Tokyo then he is challenged by Itchy Kitchy, strongest man in the world!





	Warrior Of The Sumo

How come Ren and Stimpy never did a Sumo and Samarai themed episode? 

 

Ren and Stimpy Presents

A Narwhal Puppy Production:

Warrior of The Sumo

 

Somewhere off the coast of Southern Alabama. There were two Red and White Manx Cats with over sized blue noses with huge black nostrils. One was male, the other female. Both have fallen on hard times. The male one had on a green bow tie, and a hat, and the female had lipstick, veil, and an apron on. The Manx cats had a kitten in a basket for they were the kitten's parents. Unable to take care of the kitten they decide to give it up. "Sorry we have to do this." said the Male Manx Cat. The female sobbed, "It's all for the best!" "We know, sweet cheeks! He'll be better off where ever he ends up." assured the Male Manx Cat. "If only you hadn't gotten laid....off!" squealed the Female Manx Cat. "I'll get an even better job and we can have another kitten if you'd like." promised the Male Manx Cat. "Just....hope our baby has it better than us! BWAHH! BOOO! HOOO! HOOO! HOOO HOOOO!" the Female Manx Cat just sobbed about. "We may be poor, but by golly! I think our little kitten will be destined for greatness!" said The Male Manx Cat with hope in his tone of voice. "Our baby, destined for greatness! BOO! HOO! HOO! OUR BABY!" the Female Manx Cat just cried and cried.

The disheartened Manx Cat couple set their kitten in the basket and watched it float away as it drifts deep into the ocean shoreline. The Male Manx Cat replied, "Whoever gets our baby, will raise it with good moral values, and be accomplished!" The Female Manx Cat responded with more whimpers. As the kitten was floating around in the water, it cried, then a sportscasters voice can be heard. "A beautiful sunny day here in the Atlantic Ocean! Won't you look at that! A kitten in a basket is floating around! Hope no sharks will get it!" Then some huge waves come around and the kitten was crying as it was being carried away by the ocean waves. The sportscaster voice continued, "Oh my gosh! This is incredible! That kitten has great endurance! It doesn't seem to be fazed at all by these waves! Here comes a wave! And another!" A thunderstorm begins to brew and a tidal wave comes and the kitten in the basket was being carried to the top of the tidal wave. The kitten begins to cry "Now a thunderstorm is heard! This is what I call storm surge! I'm feeling for that kitten now! The kitten is now at the top of the wave! If this isn't Hanging Ten, I don't know what is!" The kitten in the basket has been thrown from the wave and is now flying in mid air. "It's going.....it's going.....it's going! Now it's gone! Great game tonight folks!" The sportscaster's voice kept bragging. 

The kitten in the basket has survived the ordeal. The basket washes up on the shores of Japan near a simple Japanese village. Inside one of the tents there lived a Samarai Chihuahua Master named Zen Ren who was dressed in a fez hat and a kimono. Four Buddhist Monks surrounded the kitten in the basket. The kitten was crying it's eyes out as the Monks observed it. Zen Ren was meditating. "Ommmmm.....tihs.........kcuf..........hctib........ssa........Ommmmmmm...........tihs........kcuf........hctib.......ssa." Zen Ren was done meditating. "Ahhhhh. Think I finally acheeeved eener pea......." the kitten's cry was heard. It disturbed Zen Ren as his face fell flat then his eyes bulged out of his head. "neeeesssss". Zen Ren finished then he walked out of his tent to see what the uproar was about. Zen Ren sees four Buddhist Monks. "HEY! GEET OFF OF MY PROPERTY YOU DIRTY BUMS!" yelled Zen Ren. "I PAYED GOOD EENSURANCE MONEY FOR THEES YARD AND TENT!" The monks don't listen to Zen Ren. "STOP THAT BABY CRYEENG! DEEN'T YOU YOYOS HEAR A WORD I SAID?" Zen Ren yelled at the monks. The Buddhist Monks now acknowledge Zen Ren.

"This kitten.....there's something extraordinary about it!" said the first Monk. "Indeed! The prophecy has been complete!" said the second monk. "Next generation of Ninja Samarai has arrived!" said the third monk. "ALL RIGHT, WISE GUYS! WHAT EES GOING ON HERE? WHAT DOES THAT BABY HAVE TO DO WEETH EET?" yelled Zen Ren to the monks. One of the monks was a mute and it communicated with karate as it tried to tell Zen Ren about the kitten. "ENOUGH OF THEESE OBSCENE HAND GESTURES!" yelled Zen Ren. The 2 of the 4 monks said, "The prophecy has come true. This kitten is the next generation of the Ninja Samarai." "It's destiny, it's fate!" The mute monk put the baby kitten in Zen Ren's hands. "It is up to you to teach this kitten the ways of the Samarai!" said the first Monk. Then Monks walk away to leave Zen Ren to raise the baby kitten. Zen Ren takes one look at the baby kitten and falls in love. "AAAAHHHH!!!!!" Zen Ren hugs the baby kitten, "I will love it and hug it and call it my own!" The baby kitten looked up at Zen Ren and said in a baby's voice, "Happy Happy! Joy Joy!" "You're first words! Just know you will be a queek leetle learner!" Zen Ren decides to name his adopted bundle of joy. "Your name shall be........Steempy!" The kitten was now named Stimpy.

 

* * * 

 

Three months later, the baby kitten Stimpy was being raised by Zen Ren. It wasn't an easy task to bring up a baby kitten for the Warrior Chihuahua. It was also a rewarding experience that had it's many quirks. Tiring for the fact the Zen Ren was raising the baby Stimpy on his own. Zen Ren wanted to teach the baby Stimpy the ways of the Samarai, but he knew he had to wait until the baby Stimpy came of age in order to do so. Zen Ren was making Stimpy's breakfast. Stimpy was crying in his high chair. "Don't worree! I got eet!" assured Zen Ren. "Mee hun-gee! Mee hun-gee!" cried the baby Stimpy. "Eet's comeeng! It's comeeng! You better eet it!" said Zen Ren as he hurried to get Stimpy's breakfast for him. "A good day starts weeth a good breakfast!" announced Zen Ren as he put down a bowl in Stimpy's high chair. Inside the bowl was some octopus tentacles and rice. Baby Stimpy was none to pleased. 

"I wan Gwitty Kitty and Powdooed Toast!" protested baby Stimpy. "Eef you want to grow up to be a beeg and strong warrior, you need to eet thees Tenteecle and Rice Bowl!" ordered Zen Ren. "Gwitty Kitty! Powdooed Toast! Gwitty Kitty! Powdooed Toast!" cried baby Stimpy. Zen Ren plays a trick on Stimpy, "Look over there, baby! Eet's a ball of snot!" "Where?" asked the baby Stimpy. Zen Ren takes a spoonful of the Tentacle Rice Bowl then shoved it down Stimpy's throat. Stimpy actually liked the Tentacle Rice Bowl. "Oh Joy! Very yummy! More more more!" the baby Stimpy said happily. Zen Ren had some hope for the baby Stimpy as he fed Stimpy more of the Tentacle Rice Bowl. "Thees baby is going to be a star!" said Zen Ren.

 

 

In the three years since Zen Ren has adopted the baby Stimpy, it was a merciless task. A huge struggle for Zen Ren to keep himself emotionally intact whenever Stimpy messes something up. Stimpy has finally come of age and was now ready to be trained in the ways of the Samarai as he was destined to become just as those Buddhist Monks predicted. "Oh, Joy! I'm a grown up now! I have come of age!" Stimpy proudly boasted as he joined his guardian Zen Ren in the kitchen. "Now that you are an adult now, I will teach you the ways of the Samarai!" announced Zen Ren. "Where do we begin?" asked Stimpy. "Right now of course." said Zen Ren. Stimpy was sitting at the table with his tongue sticking out. Zen Ren looks into a cabinet and throws useless things out like rubber bands, nails, and paper clips. "Now where deed I put eet?" asked Zen Ren. Stimpy was waiting for his training to begin by picking his nose until Zen Ren sees the thing he was looking for. A Monopoly Game. 

Zen Ren takes the Monopoly Game and puts it on the table. "Now, Steempston! The best offense ees a great defense. I'm going to teach you strategee by playing thees!" Stimpy squeals in delight, "You didn't tell me anything about board games! This will be fun!" cheered the moronic and demented Manx Cat. Zen Ren sets up the Monopoly board. "Now, peek your tokeen!" ordered Zen Ren. Thinking it would be a good idea to teach Stimpy strategy to have him play Monopoly, Zen Ren takes out the board, just as he was doing so, Stimpy finds some hotel tokens in the game. "Pay attenteeon, here. First theeng you have to do ees....." as Zen Ren was explaining, Stimpy puts some hotels on Boardwalk Avenue. 

"Hotel!" shouted Stimpy!

"No No NO! STOP! We haveen't eeveen starteed yet!" yelled Zen Ren. 

Stimpy keeps putting hotels all over Boardwalk, and puts the cowboy token up his nose. Thus annoying Zen Ren in the process.

"Hotel!" 

"You don't have a hotel there yet!"

"Hotel!" 

"You don't have a hotel there!"

"Hotel!" 

"Let me....."

"Hotel!"

"You eediot! You brainless....."

"Hotel!"

"Why you......"

"Hotel!"

"There's no hotels there!"

"HOTEL! HOTEL! HOTEL! HOTEL! HOTEL!" 

Zen Ren gets angerier by the second. Stimpy realizes he has to sneeze. "Ahh....ahhh.....ahhh.....AH-CHOOO!!!!!!" The force of Stimpy's sneeze makes the cowboy token he had up his nose to fly into Zen Ren's mouth, and Zen Ren flies out the window that covered in snot. 

"What am I going to do weeth heem?" choked Zen Ren as he coughs up the cowboy token covered with spit.

 

Zen Ren now has another plan to try to train Stimpy as a Samarai. In the backyard of Zen Ren's tent there was a tree with a beehive attached. Zen Ren leads Stimpy to the tree and hands him a Samarai Sword.

"What is this for, Master Zen Ren? This looks sharp and scary." asked Stimpy cluelessly.

"You need to learn the ways of thee sword!" said Zen Ren. "And fulfeell the propheeecee that you are a great Samarai Warrior!"

Stimpy sees the beehive and thinks it's a pinata and gasps excitedly.

"A pinata?! Oh Joy! I didn't know we were having a party! Whatever is the occasion?"

Zen Ren grabs Stimpy by the throat, "You are so stupeed!"

"Stimpy sobbed, "Is.....that......true......?"

Zen Ren slaps Stimpy upside the cheek, "That ees not a peenata! That ees a beehive! Don't you know a beehive when you see one?" 

"What am I going to do here?" asked Stimpy again.

"Chop the beehive een half, you Sabe?" said Zen Ren.

"Sayonara with a side of soy sauce, sir!" Stimpy answered to show he understood what Zen Ren wanted him to do.

Stimpy goes ahead and tries to whack the beehive with the Samarai Sword. Zen Ren face palms as he sees Stimpy missing his intended target. "Keep your eye on thee beehive! You eembicile!" After a while, Zen Ren walks off and Stimpy successfully chops down the beehive with the Samarai Sword. Zen Ren comes back and sees a swarm of bees that came out of the beehive. Stimpy cheered, "I did it! I did it! I'm on my way to become the World's Greatest Samarai Master!" Zen Ren sees the bees and was proud of his hapless apprentice, tears formed in his eyes. "What a beauteeful sight to behold! My studeent finally deed sometheeng right.....look at that swarm of bees!" Zen Ren walks up to Stimpy then turns to see the bees were flying around his eyeballs popped out, "SWARM OF BEES! AAAAAHHHH!!" Zen Ren screamed as he jumped into the air with his eyeballs and tongue flying out. Then the bees were flying in his direction and stung his whole body until Zen Ren grabbed one of them. Stimpy runs onto the scene.

"I'm sorry Master Zen Ren. I didn't know those bees would sting! Was just following protocol!" Stimpy said apologetically. Zen Ren took one of the stingers from the bees and poked Stimpy with it. "Now you need to learn how to be attacked!" yelled Zen Ren. Stimpy hollowed painfully then he enjoyed the sting. "Ooooh, sooo relaxing!" moaned Stimpy. Zen Ren wanting to punish Stimpy even more. Stimpy watched in confusion Zen Ren chopping down the tree that had the beehive. Stimpy thought Zen Ren was playing a game. "Are you playing charades?" asked Stimpy. Zen Ren kept whacking the tree with the sword. Stimpy said, "I know! You're being Paul Banyan! No, wait! Let me guess here.......hmmmmm......George Washington Carver?" Zen Ren was done chopping the tree and punched the tree and it landed on Stimpy's head nailing him into the ground like a hammer. Stimpy got up out from the ground. Zen Ren yelled, "Back een the tent for more training you Republeecan Congreessman!" "Thanks! I needed that...." Stimpy said breathlessly.

 

* * * 

 

Back in Zen Ren's tent, he was going to teach Stimpy to break a board. "You must learn martial arts eef you want to be a Samarai. First theeng we do is break thees board." Zen Ren showed Stimpy a wooden board, which Stimpy ended up licking! "We don't leek eet you eediot! You are supposed to break eet weeth a feest!" Stimpy licked the board again. "This marshmallow arts stuff you're teaching me is very fun!" laughed Stimpy.

"I said martial arts! Martial! Not marshmallow you eediot!" yelled Zen Ren. "Break thees board now!"

Stimpy just kept on licking the board. Then Zen Ren loses his patience.

"How hard could eet be to break a board! Look I'll do eet! Observe!" yelled Zen Ren as he broke the board flawlessly. Zen Ren gets another wooden board for Stimpy to break. "Now you try eet!" 

"Break.....Break! That's what you meant by break! Oh Master Zen Ren! You are so imformative!" said Stimpy. 

"Shut up and break eet already!" ordered Zen Ren.

Instead of breaking the board like Zen Ren had hoped, Stimpy ate it instead. Zen Ren vomited and retched in disgust. 

"This board is delicious! Tastes like Sriracha!" Stimpy said in ignorant bliss. 

Zen Ren runs out of his tent and screams and cries into the darkened night sky. "WHAT DEED I DO TO DEESERVE THIS? WHY? WHY? WHY AM I STUCK WEETH HIM!"

One last resort that Zen Ren has to try to train Stimpy. The washer trick. 

"Geeveeng you another chance! Now as queekly as you can! Take thees washer out of my hand!" 

Stimpy looked at the washer with glee thinking it was a piece of candy. "A gummy! JOY! Always wished gummy washers would be invented!" 

Instead of taking the washer, Stimpy chewed and swallowed it. Zen Ren felt a rage brewing from within. 

"Did I do that right?" asked Stimpy.

Zen Ren gave Stimpy a karate chop on the head that sounded like a gong. Which caused Stimpy to shake around back and forth. 

"Ha-ha-ha-ppeeee! ha-ha-ha-peee! Jo-jo-joyyyyy! jo-jo-joyyy!" 

"You dirtee sack of protoplasm!" screamed Zen Ren. 

 

Getting fed with that Stimpy isn't striving with his Samarai training. Zen Ren goes to a Buddhist Temple and wants to get some advice. "I must go see the Wise Horse for thees! Maybe he could help me geet through to that beeg fat, bloated eediot!" Zen Ren bangs the gong, and an oriental looking mouse comes to greet Zen Ren. The mouse, "If you want to see Wise Horse, put in yen to hear secret saying!" Zen Ren throws the Oriental Mouse over his shoulder as he walks into the temple. "BACK OFF, CHARLIE! GO MAKE SOME RICE!" To get the Wise Horses attention, Zen Ren banged the gong. The Wise Horse was Mr. Horse in a red robe. 

"Can see you are seeking help. How may I be of your service?" asked the Wise Horse to Zen Ren as he was catching flies with chopsticks and eating them.

Zen Ren explained his predicament with Stimpy. "I adopteed thees fat cat you see. He's a leetle slow een the brain. Some monks told me he was desteened to become a Samarai Warrior." 

"I see, go on!" said the Wise Horse.

"I tried everytheeng to train him and nothing seems to penteetrates hees theek skull! Whatever shall I do oh great Wise Horse." asked Zen Ren at his wits end.

"Since samarai isn't working, then perhaps you must try, Sumo Wrestling! Since you say he's fat." answered the Wise Horse.

"Of course, that's eet! Sumo Wrestleeng! Where do I begeen?" asked Zen Ren eagerly.

The Wise Horses's advice was, "You both must go to the Egypt desert and have the cat overcome the Yak. The Yak also has a Log. And you both need to find a relic. Do all of that, you have yourself a Sumo Wrestler!" 

"Thanks so much, pal! That ees exactlee what I shall do!" Zen Ren said with more hopeful enthusiasm. 

"Just one thing, the Yak's weak point is in it's butthole! If you can get your cat friend to puncture the butthole in any way, the Yak will be defeated!" said The Wise Horse.

"I'll remember that! Now to train that fat lug to be a Sumo Wrestler!" Zen Ren said as he walked out of the Temple. The Wise Horse caught more flies with his chopsticks and ate them. 

 

The Wise Horse said, "Īe, watashi wa sore ga kiniiranai" which translated to, "No Sir I Don't Like It!" 

Zen Ren now had a new mission. To train Stimpy to be a Sumo Wrestler.

 

* * * 

 

More determined than ever to turn Stimpy into a legendary warrior, Zen Ren takes Stimpy to a vacant Egyptian desert to find the Yak, the Log, and the Relic. 

"Master Zen Ren, why are we here?" asked Stimpy. "Seense traineeng you to be a Samarai was not workeeng out, we weell try our hand at Sumo Wrestleeng!" answered Zen Ren. "How is this going to train me?" asked Stimpy again. "Full of questeeons aren't we? We are on a quest to find a Yak, a Log, and a Releec, my Steempleton Seempleton!" answered Zen Ren with confidence. "Oh, I get it! We have to find the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe!" Zen Ren slapped Stimpy, "No not that garbeege you eediot! A Yak, a Log, and a Releec!" "Relish?" asked Stimpy profoundly dumbfounded way. "Releec!" Zen Ren screamed in Stimpy's face which caused Stimpy's face to fly to showing his skull. 

Monents later, a sandstorm brewed in the desert. The sportscaster from earlier announced, "It looks like it's a windy one for our heroes today......" Zen Ren yelled, "WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR YA! GEET OUT!" "Sorry" the sportscaster responded. Stimpy was none too happy about being stuck in the desert in a sand storm. "Zen Ren!" called Stimpy. "What ees eet man!?" asked Zen Ren. "Sand is in my eyes!" cried Stimpy. "Wipe eet away!" said Zen Ren. That was just the beginning of Stimpy's complaints. 

"Master Zen Ren! It's too hot, sandy and sunny! I don't like it!" Zen Ren mocked Stimpy's whining voice, "Zen Ren it's too hot, sandy and sunny! I don't like it! Of course eets hot sandy and sunny you chocolate eclair stain on underwear! Eets a desert!" Stimpy began to cry, "How could you do this to me? Sending your only adopted son whom you loved and cherished?" "I already told you once before! We are goeeng to find that Yak! Once we do, you must overcome the Yak!" said Zen Ren. Stimpy was feeling hurt and betrayed, "It's not fair that I have to be in this windy desert! It's against the laws of humanity, it's against all that is holy. It's unconstitutional!" Stimpy said as he saluted. "Get eet together you fleethy swine! Be a man for once! Cry one more time and I'll keeeel you! Back to beesnees! We must find thees Yak so you can overcome it by leeking eets butthole!" said Zen Ren. "Nobody told me about licking buttholes! Count me in!" cheered Stimpy.

Still trekking the desert to look for the Yak with the Log, Zen Ren and Stimpy finally see the Yak with the Log. "Thees ees eet! The Yak and the Log! We finally found eet! After thees the Releec!" said Zen Ren. Stimpy was excited to see the Yak. "Whatever shall I do with this Yak, oh great master of mine?" asked Stimpy.

"Overcome eet!" said Ren. 

"Yessir!" Stimpy saluted as he ran to see the Yak who was reading a newspaper. 

"All right, Yak! Put up your dukes, you're dealing with the roughest, toughest Sumo Wrestler of the Mighty Mississippi!" Stimpy tries to challenge the Yak, but forgets to lick it's butthole so Stimpy hits the Yak very lightly and the Yak punches Stimpy in the gut. Stimpy's stomach and lower intestine spurt out of his mouth. Stimpy begins to have a temper tantrum.

"What happeneed here!" demanded Zen Ren.

"MY GUTS! MY GUTS! MY GUTS! MY GUTS! MY GUTS! MY GUTS! MY GUTS! MY GUTS!" shouted Stimpy.

Zen Ren takes his stomach and lower intestine and shoves it down Stimpy's mouth who was still yelling, "MY GUTS!"

Stimpy acknowledged his guts were back inside him, "What do you know! I'm okay!" 

Zen Ren wanted to know why Stimpy didn't lick the Yak's butthole, "Why deedn't you leek eet's butt like you were supposed to?"

Stimpy responded, "Because that Yak reminded me of you when you get mad at me and hit me!"

Zen Ren asked, "WHEN have I EVER?" Zen Ren and Stimpy both say, "Your wealth of ignorance astounds me!" 

The Yak was still reading the newspaper and had the Log. Zen Ren drags Stimpy by the arm. Stimpy was now having second thoughts about being a Sumo Wrestler. 

"You know, Master Zen Ren, this Sumo Wrestling stuff is hard. That Yak is big and mean!" protested Stimpy.

"You ain't geeteeng out of thees one meester! We have a prophocee to fulfeel!" said Zen Ren.

Stimpy begins to cry, gasp, and whine again, "BUT......BUT.....I DON'T WANNA SEE THAT YAK! SOB! SOB!" 

"We are goeeng to see the Yak!" said Zen Ren

"Can't we go to the park instead? Don't make me see that Yak!"

Zen Ren said pulling Stimpy by the arm, "The deceeson is final! We are seeneeng that Yak!" 

"NO! NO! NO! MOMMY! MOMMY! I DON'T WANNA BE A GROWN UP SUMO WRESTLER ANYMORE! WAHHH!!!" cried Stimpy.

Zen Ren said, "Almost there! We are headed for the Yak!" 

"I'M TOO OLD TO FIGHT YAKS!" Stimpy continued to cry.

Zen Ren threw Stimpy into the Yak. The Yak looked at Stimpy with resentment. "Uhhh, hi!" Stimpy said very hesitantly to the Yak. Stimpy got picked up by the Yak upside down and was about to be clobbered again, and at the last minute, Stimpy licked the Yak's butthole which made the Yak fall over." Zen Ren gets the Log.

"We beat the Yak! We beat the Yak! Success! Success! I fulfilled the phopheecee! For that! For that! I'm a GENIUS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" crackled Zen Ren insanely. 

Stimpy accidently broke the Log and inside was relish. His eyes popped out with glee. "See? Look! Relish! I told you so!" Little did they know that the Log and the Relic were one in the same. 

Zen Ren had a premonition, "That's eet! The Log was the Releec, and eenside was the Releesh! All you need to do is eat the releesh to grow beeg and strong."

"Can do!" boasted Stimpy as he ate the relish from the Log. 

Zen Ren watched as Stimpy grew huge and muscular. Zen Ren had tears in his eyes, "EEEEEE! He weell be the greateest Sumo een all of Japan!" 

Stimpy stomped his feet and said in a deep voice, "HAPPY HAPPY! JOY JOY!" 

Zen Ren decides to enter Stimpy in his fist Sumo Wrestling Tournament.

 

* * * 

 

In Toyko, a Sumo Wrestling Match was about to take place. At a Ampi Theater. Zen Ren entered Stimpy, who had to challenge the supposedly 'Strongest Man in the World', Itchy Kitchy! Itchy Kitchy was a mute human who was 700 pounds and wore a peach diaper. Stimpy was wearing a green diaper. A Japanese Referee was in the middle. Zen Ren was in the audience eating a huge slab of sushi. The referee said. "Een-a thees corneer, the challenger! Stimpy Kadoogan!" "Een-a thees corneer, the champion! Itchy Kitchi! Strongest Man in the world!" 

"Do everytheeng I taught you my pupil!" Zen Ren told Stimpy.

Itchy Kitchy was demonstrating how strong he was by chopping wood with karate chops. "Ooh! AHH!" 

"I don't think I can go through with this" whispered Stimpy to Zen Ren who slaps him and yells, "Take eet like a man!" 

Stimpy used Zen Ren's advice and decides to toughen up. Itchy Kitchy was ready for the match was about to crush Stimpy like a bug. 

"Eef you don't ween thees, I will make you rot een the jungle, and feed you to the parasites!" warned Zen Ren.

Itchy Kitchy was about to body slam Stimpy. But he stomped his feet and said, "HAPPY HAPPY! JOY JOY!" and proceeded to try to to the same with Itchy Kitchy. 

A fart sound was heard. It came from Itchy Kitchy. The audience watched in shock and horror. A Japanese guy in the audience yelled, "This disgrace Japan!" and jumps out the window. Stimpy then farted. Not before long, the Sumo Wrestling match that was promised was now becoming a fart contest. 

Stimpy farted the song, "Turkey in the Straw" and Itchy Kitchy joined in. Zen Ren yelled, "STEEMPY YOU'RE A BUM! THEESE EESN'T WHAT I TAUGHT YOU! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT! FIGHT! NOT FART!" 

Itchy Kitchy and Stimpy farted another song, "Oh My Darling Clementine". Zen Ren bit down hard on the seat he was sitting in. 

Another song they farted was Froggy Went a Courting. Stimpy and Itchy Kitchy hugged. "FRIENDS!" said ITCHY KITCHY. Zen Ren retched and vomited. The farting match comes to a complete stop when Police sirens are heard and the cops broke into the Ampi Theater and arrested everyone expect Zen Ren and Stimpy. "FREEZE! POLICE! YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST!" "Fo What?" asked a Japanese guy in the audience. "FOR STARTING AN ILLEGAL FART CONTEST OPERATION" All the audience members in the Ampi Theater were being lead away by the police. Zen Ren and Stimpy were left behind.

"Well, what do we do now? Back to the drawing board right?" asked Stimpy curiously.

Zen Ren gets out a Samarai Sword and shouts, "YOU DEESGRACED ME!! YOU LEETLE CRYBABY WEEMP! NOW YOU MUST PAY!" "Now don't kill me, Master Zen Ren! I did my best! And that's all you can do! I can still be destined for greatness!" 

Stimpy gets chased by Zen Ren down the streets of Tokyo until Zen Ren gives up gets another premonition. 

In the days ahead the simple Japanese Village where Zen Ren lived was now a Gambling Town. Everyone was lined up to see Zen Ren's new casino. 

"Step right up everybody! And prove your worth! How much money can you gamble?" said Zen Ren. Stimpy was a host dressed as a showgirl. 

"Forgeet Samarais and Sumo, thees ees what we're desteened for! Look at our villeege now! And all the money we're meelkeeng from thees fools!" Zen Ren said who was finally happy that him and Stimpy have achieved prosperity. Stimpy said, "You can say that again! Oh buddy ol' pal of mine! No more Marshmallow Arts for me!" Zen Ren and Stimpy both laughed and sighed. "Who needs propheeccess and eener peace anyway!" Zen Ren said getting the last word. 

The Manx Cat Couple, Stimpy's parents watched the whole thing on TV. "Knew he was going to be something big!" said the Male Manx Cat. The female Manx Cat said, "That's our little Junior!" 

 

The End

 

The Proceeding Has been a Narwhal Puppy Production!


End file.
